Sports and Intentional Change Theory

This week the discussion revolves around the success of US Women's Soccer and the Dream Team failures of US Basketball in the Olympics. Naturally these two sports are the sports that I have the least amount of interest in researching. Baseball wasn't an option? All grousing aside there are some lessons to be learned from the success and failures of these two teams.


Starting with failures: The 2004 US Men's Basketball Olympic team was, on paper, supposed to dominate the field...and they didn't. This article applies a bit of statistics to the team but the overall point is that the quality of the players changed. I tend to disagree, the players sent to the Olympics in 2004 were comparable to any other player in the world. However they were relatively new to international play and they were new "stars" in the US. I would argue that, according to Intentional Change Theory, their ideal self and real self were not the same "self." As the linked article above notes, scoring in basketball is dependent on having the ball in the first place. A given "star" on an NBA team can count on his teammates feeding the ball to him in order to score. This can lead to a self that appears to the player as "I am the man with the ball." However, when these "stars" get together the cohesive goal of giving the ball to the "star" begins to change. There are five "stars" on the court and the image of "being the man with the ball" crashes into the reality of "all these players want the ball and can use it." The court, during the game, is not the time to apply a learning program, evaluate mistakes or success, and find a support system as those steps take time, so they failed. Learning from those success the US Men's Team went on win gold in 2008 with the Redeem Team.


Comparing that the US Women's Soccer team has been dominate for nearly 30 years on the world stage. This fivethirtyeight article also breaks down some statistical data for women's soccer but I find this passage very telling, "So how did we get here? Basically, it boils down to two things: 1) Women’s soccer has been on a great run for the past 30-plus years in the U.S., to the point where it’s poised to become our most popular women’s sport, and 2) the rest of the world has been relatively apathetic and/or hostile to the women’s game." Additionally, US players make up over half the world's registered players. In the US women's soccer is very popular for young women and thus from an early age they begin to merge their ideal selves and real selves as soccer players. The same could be said for basketball players but I argue that the lesser spotlight cast on women's sports, while shameful, also allows for the players to develop themselves free from trying to be what others see them as. Whereas Carmelo Anthony has an image to protect many folks may have to look up the name Brandi Chastain. It may be that Brandi's ideal self and real self are very close to the same person.


The same could be said for Ronda Rousey's loss to Holly Holms. If one looks at her loss and reasons for taking the fight a case could be made that Rousey was trying to reconcile her ideal self with her real self. While it was physically painful for her to learn that merging the two is no easy task the lesson can apply to all of us. The ideal self may not be a bad "self" and neither may be the real self. However, when they aren't the same a state of dissonance can occur. Applying the ICT steps can take a person closer to making the two the same though I argue that a complete merger is impossible. Anyone thinking that they no longer have a need to grow is missing the point of growth.

Tipping Points and Attractors

Tipping points in relation to emotional intelligence or knowing one's self can also be looked at as a type of epiphany. They can also be seen, when viewed quantitatively,  as a point where behavior either increases or decreases in a sharp manner. I've been studying leadership for several years, I've been a leader and a follower and I've begun to lean more towards qualitative rather than quantitative studies. That being said, data gathered is often critical to crystallizing behavior and providing data upon which to build theories. Qualitative and quantitative studies of leadership are, in my opinion, symbiotic.

Where this relates to tipping points can be seen in these two examples: In the first example Dr. Boyatzis outlines the data behind tipping points and performance and in the second, while he uses quantitative data his overall statement is on the qualitative aspects of tipping points. In both the result of the discussion is the same, the tipping point serves to either reset the emotional states or drive a different behavior.

I've had my own tipping point though due to my stubborn nature it took some hardship to get there. At one point in my early 20's I lost a job as a company I worked for downsized dramatically. At the time I thought I still had everything under control despite not being able to pay rent or adequately feed myself. Job searching was difficult as it wasn't easy finding a job that would have paid as much as the one I just left and therefore be able to cover rent. I worked two jobs, temp jobs, or wherever I could find work in order to stay afloat yet in the end I was evicted. From there it wasn't long before I lost my car as well. Being pretty much on my own and homeless I decided that I needed to make a change in my life.

My stubborn nature led me to believe that I could have made things work by sheer force of will. Life, however, had different plans. What this tipping point changed was my attitude. I very quickly learned that people can do all the right things and still come up short. Success or failure isn't always directly related to the effort put into things. Life is much more complicated than binary attitudes like "work had and you will succeed" or "if you aren't succeeding it's because you aren't trying." Such simplistic views went by the wayside and over the next decade and change I've developed a much broader sense of compassion and, at times, empathy. I joined the Air Force to get out my rut, and even then needed substantial financial assistance from my family. I was fortunate that my family had the resources to assist me in paying some old debts as well as assisting me while I was awaiting my basic training start date.

Looking back now I wish I had given up my stubborn belief system that failed to see the nuance in situations. However, had it not been so harshly confronted it is likely that I would still cling to it. In the end, we can learn as much from our failures as we do our success; if not more so. Failure forces change and when properly analyzed and reflected upon is a great teacher. Success, though to be sought after and appreciated, carries a danger of complacency. Of course, I much prefer success to failure! Still, they both have their roles in life and like most things, as I learned, that relationship can be complex.

Emotional Intelligence in Four Dimensions

Psychologist Dr. Daniel Goleman lists four dimensions of emotional intelligence they can best be summed up in the following:

I find this a good illustration of these four attributes as they are interconnected and also specific unto the themselves. A person can have a great self management attribute but lack a certain amount of social awareness. That being said, having a strong affinity in each category makes for a higher level of emotional intelligence and, it is hoped, a better leader. Two of Goleman's talks can be found here and here and they are well worth the watch.

For me, I find that my strengths lean more towards social skills and social awareness. Both of the fields are important to my work and thus I "practice" them more than I do self awareness. Often by the end of the day I am too tired for much introspection as it can be exhaustive to attempt to stay connected to others eight or more hours a day. Staying practiced in social skills and social awareness does keep them sharp but at a price; they tend to burn out. More on that later.

The two areas where I am less successful are self awareness and self management.  Self-awareness feeds a great deal in my work as I have to know what triggers certain emotional responses in myself. My clients can be sex-offenders, murderers, or the parts of society that exist on the fringes that, in my opinion, most of society is trying to ignore. But knowing a trigger is different than examining the "why" of a trigger and I reflect enough to get through the day but it helps that I am professionally obligated to keep my personal emotions out of treatment planning. I can't decide to avoid helping someone because they were convicted of child molestation. That being said, much like schoolwork, being forced to do something can make someone better at it by benefit of repetition. I do think that I could use more self-directed practice in self-awareness but it isn't far behind the social side of the paradigm.

However, self management is where I suffer. I am impulsive by nature and run more in instinct than I do introspection. That isn't to say I act without reason because I value reason so much more than I do most anything else. Where I struggle is that I forge ahead with projects or ideas and forget some of the details that would make those ideas or projects work. I then have to go back and tidy up those details before I get things back on track. I'm getting better at it but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a blind spot at times.

Emotional Intelligence is more complex than a simple blog post can really encapsulate and this post is limited to strengths and weaknesses and mostly regarding my work. One final point is that emotional intelligence can be tiring. I am forced to apply a certain amount of emotional intelligence on a daily basis as I am sure many are. The constant introspection and internal checks and balances that emotional intelligence can demand is tiring if a person does not practice some form of self-renewal. The resonant leader concept stresses self-renewal right up front as it is demanding and effective leaders will take time for themselves as well. In some ways it is acceptable to "turn off" the emotional intelligence in the quiet moments and "just be" even though, with practice, emotional intelligence becomes less of a skill and more of a state of being and thus less tiring.

Resonant? Maybe

This week's blog post is an excercise taken from McKee et al's Becoming a Resonant Leader (McKee, Boyatzis, & Johnston, 2008). The idea of resonant leadership seems to be the next step after acquiring a mastery of emotional intelligence. After all, how can one hope to inspire others and create a positive tone for others if one does not know themselves? Additionally, a given leader must understand how they are reacting to stress and take steps to renew themselves so that positive environments can be maintained.

Thus far, in my readings into resonant leadership haven't reached a firm conclusion on the following but it seems that resonant leadership places the onus of creating a positive environment on the leader and less on the follower. However, these relationships are symbiotic and often draw from each other so it is important that a leader understand that followers will also need the same steps for self-renewal as well as possible sharing leadership roles. There is a danger in a leader thinking of themselves as some sort of guru and becoming unaware of how resonance means that all parts work together.

Below are the questions asked of me in the excercise along with my insights.

1. Am I inspirational? Do I inspire people?

I don't know that I am or am not inspirational. I don't exactly pass out surveys and most people in my life are unaware of the struggles I've overcome to get to where I am. Nor do I feel inclined to share the more distasteful episodes of my past and while there is nothing overtly scandalous in my past it is mine and I don't enjoy being vulnerable. Additionally, I move far too often for deep relationships to form. Perhaps one can be inspirational without sharing a great deal of themselves but if so I am not seeing the path.

All of that being said, I do try to lead by example. I've never asked someone I've supervised to do something that I was unwilling to do. In my current work-group I make myself available for roles that others might not want simply because it's good practice and the patients need the help. Others may draw inspiration from seeing someone going about their job with ethics, standards, and an eye for providing the best service to patients that is possible. They did nominate me for a small award for such. So perhaps it is a form of inspiration.

However, I don't draw inspiration from flowery speeches and I don't expect anyone to draw inspiration from anything I say. I am much more impressed by action and so I try to lead by example. That isn't to say motivational speaking isn't a great tool and I do use motivational interviewing and positive encouragement in my line of work. So in essence, for me I try to inspire but what inspires me and that is more doing and less talking when working with peers and switch to different type of motivation when working with patients. Part of that may very well be that behavioral health specialists have seen and heard so many horror stories and so many excuses that words are often not enough.

2. Do I create an overall positive emotional tone that is characterized by hope? How?

Seeing as how this my job I certainly hope so! Many of the patients with which my office works are struggling in more than one area of their lives. Some of them are happy that way. While others are wanting to work on improving themselves but they've been so beat down by life and poor choices that they can't see the light at the end of tunnel. It's our job to provide that light and the route to take to get there. That can't be done without hope and a positive tone. Also, this type of work is emotionally draining and so we often maintain positive tones among ourselves and provide mutual support.

3. Am I in touch with others? Do I really know what is in others' hearts and on their minds? How do I show this?

I try to be. One can never really know what goes on in the hearts of others but we can evaluate their actions. This is an extension of my approach to inspiration in that I am much more impressed by seeing actions rather than hearing words and I live my life this way. I have never been one to use ten words when five will do. But I will seek to understand others and to demonstrate that I will work as hard towards their goals as they are if not more so if they are in place where they need the support. I ask questions, I actively listen, and I try very, very hard to remain non-judgmental. Understanding that we don't always know the struggles of others, we don't know their pasts, we don't know their barriers, their health, their multitude of stories that make up a life means that we meet others with open minds. I believe that by meeting people on the level that feel comfortable helps place them at ease and begins to lay the foundation for healthy relationship.

4. Do I regularly experience and demonstrate compassion? How?

Working with people who have addictions, mental health disorders, and usually physical health impairments means that the term compassion fatigue applies to myself and most of my co-workers. Treating compassion fatigue requires mindfulness and some sort of self-renewal process; much as with resonant leadership. If I am honest I am sometimes faking compassion until I can find a way to feel it. Opening one's self to an endless litany of horror stories drains the compassion from a person. I'd like to have a better answer for this question but the truth is that while I am compassionate if I don 't take time for myself whatever compassion I have will ebb away. Resonant leadership stresses self-renewal and speaking from personal experience, self renewal is vital.

5. Am I authentic and in tune with myself, others, and the environment? How can people see this in me? 

If I am not authentic with myself how can I be authentic with anyone or anything? I try to not allow the darker parts of my psyche (which we all have) go unaddressed. We all suffer from our pasts and we all have learned and grown from our pasts in some way or another. Being authentic isn't just about being honest with one's self but it is taking the step to accepting one's self and using the whole of you to reach the whole of others. I endeavor to be as authentic as I am able in my dealings with others. My co-workers and I are very authentic with each other and that is probably why our team works as well as it does. It's refreshing to know that others see you for who you are and accept you and I give the same in return.


McKee, A., Boyatzis, R. E., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming a resonant leader: develop your emotional intelligence, renew your relationships, sustain your effectiveness. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Pub.